Thursday, February 16, 2006

i wrote this on NYE from India. at the time for some reason i didnt send it, but being home now and re-reading this i find it amusing. it speaks so well to my experience in India.
i am home now, in good health, and starting to get myself on the current time zone schedule. i still wake up at odd hours and sleep in the middle of the day, but my body and mind are happy to be home in SF.
love to you all, amrita



i am now returning from perhaps the most intense 24 hours of my life. expecting to go to Agra to see the Taj Mahal, i was picked up from my hotel at 6am this morning., (It is already one hour past New Years Eve here in India. ) the driver took me on dark roads to a place near the Lakshmi Narayan temple i visited yesterday. we had to pick more people up and then landed at a little place where "tourist" buses were stacked one against the next. Filing into the bus that I was to spend the next 20 hours on the driver ushered me to the front where he sits. This is a private area, separate and doored off from the rest of the bus. I sat there quietly (if there is one thing i have learned it is that i ask a lot of questions..especially by Indian standards. The longer I waited for what was to happen rather than ask the sooner i would find out that whatever it was of my concern was already being handled by whoever was in charge of my well-being at the time.)


So I sat in front and shortly thereafter five young men came to the front. they were trying to get a good look at me but it was still about 6:30 AM so the light of the sun wasn't helping give me away yet. eventually the older of the five and clearly the Leader of the pack asked me some questions..the usual, "what country you are from?" over the course of the day they would become my saviors in this world so dynamic and unknown. they were from Assam, one of the states to the North East of the country, on the other side of Burma and Bangladesh- that part of India is called the "Seven sisters."


We proceeded on an approximately 200something kilometer ride to Agra. Along the way we passed the most poverty-stricken villages beyond anything i could have imagined. Cows, dogs, the occasional donkey and camel grazed the waste-strewn land. I looked out the side window a lot of the way in between naps and bumps in the road. There are literally zero traffic rules. I saw three minor car accidetns today. i was praying that the road we were on stayed wide and did not narrow down to some death-defying cliffside path. i said my mantra and prayed to Amma that we arrive safely to our destination.


There was this super cute little girl sitting next to me most of the way. she was part of a larger family that took me under their wing over the course of the day as well. she had the sweetest most mischievous smile. she played with two strings from her blue top for hours in complete happiness. her grandmother sat to her other side and when she slept her head would thump on my shoulder or her grandmother's depending on how we drove over the uneven roads. everytime she bumped into me it made me happy. i felt such a sense of motehrhood and protection and warmth with her. i do not know if i will have children, but the instinct to stroke her forehead and give her warm melting lovewas so natural. i felt like Amma, the way she loves all of her children so much.


Their family invited me to come live with them in Hyderabad. The grandmother wanted to adopt me as her daughter and cook for me while i lived with her and took care of her and her huge house. it is the strngest thing..the generous offers of staying with peopel that are extended. one of the daughters of the grandmother asked me to help her get information on schools in theUS because she wants to become a physiotherapist. I tried to find out what that is exactly but she just said doctor. so we exchanged contact info and it would be a wonderful thing to be able to help them find something for her in this way.


I had my first opportunity to lie about whether or not i was married. i told them i was..and that my husband is very busy back home with his work so hecould not join me. at various points in theday one of the men said to me that i must miss my husband so much.
i looked like i was missing something.


going to Agra, being the only white person the whole way. being asked to pose for photos with people, maneuvering through throngs of other Indian tourists, there were moments when i just let the emotion in my heart rise and come out crying softly.


at the Agra Fort, in the background fog the Taj Mahal was faintly visible. i spent a couple moments meditating out into the distance, but had to keep a very close eye on my party so i didnt get left behind so there were few contemplative moments and a lot of "come..come...come"..we had to go.


we made some morestops alongthe way, to eat..to go to a shop...by 4pm we were finally making our way to the Taj Mahal.
we took a bicycle rickshaw the distance where our big bus wasnt allowed..i sat in between my Assamese friends. the line was HUGE! fortunately being a foreigner came in handy because i could purchase my ticket for 750 rupees in the 4 person long line..while the others had to wait in the big line to pay their 20 rupees. i knew i would have to pay more to see the Taj Mahal. 750R is just under 20.00. in general i have had to pay more for things. i do not feel bad aboutthis. i feel like i am able to do so and that is fine. i have bartered when i bought a couple things, like a shirt i had sewn for me and a scarf..because those are extravagances and i went into the situation knowing what i was willing tospend and if they wanted more than i was content to leave.
also having people with me that have been "willing to do my bidding" has been very nice.

So the Taj Mahal is the biggest monument i have ever seen. perfectly symmetrical, gorgeously detailed, a mammoth structure. we had just under an hour to make our way through the place so that meant we didnt get to go inside because of the long line..but we raced around and took a bunch of photos and now i can say i have seen the Taj Mahal.