Barometer for spiritual progress

Here is an infallible barometer to find out the degree of your spiritual progress. How would you feel if:

1. Your clean hands or best clothes are stained. This morning I did laundry and some ofthe ink from my shawl got on two of the only white shirts I own. I was not happy about this. I took them out fo the washer, brought them upstairs and dunked in some bleachy water all day. The yellow did not come all the way out. I knew that I was thinking about something trivial and not worth the investment of energy. I like my hands dirty, just not dirty hands on my body/face. I am looking forward to seeing how I have evolved around this question some day.

2. You stumble down or commit a blunder and are laughed at. I have noticed recently that whenever I am saying my mantra, singing a devotional song or resting my attention on either my heart (anahata) or third-eye (ajna) chakra I have no concern for how I look, where I'm going, if the light is green or who is around me. Mostly this is when I am walking somewhere, which is a lot of time, not owning a car. When I am inside a thought loop, looking at other people or receiving all the myriad stimuli that exists in the city I am hyper conscious of how I look, who is looking at me, what kind of car that is, worried about what if I fall in the middle of the street, all that stuff. I think as a practice I could take on putting myself in situations where I "look a fool" or say something "dumb" or generally stick my neck out in a conspicuous way, as a way to grow beyond my comfort as it relates to this measure.

3. You are hurt accidentally or stung by an insect or scorpion. A scorpion...jeez..Mosquito bites are irritating enough. I am remembering a section of the book I'm reading by Swami Paramatananda where he describes picking flowers at 4:30 in the morning from a flower garden that is dimly lit and covered with snakes and scorpions. Once he stopped thinking about himself in contrast to the scorpion he did not receive any bites or discturbances from the creatures. This is another area where I am a big ol' whimp. I have a lot of separation between me and crawly things. Last night at Amma's I was having fun with this fly that didn't fly during the bhajans. Normally I would've smooshed it with my bottle, thinking it to not belong there on the carpet; last night I sang to it and thought of it as my little friend. Accidentally getting hurt, this happens every day, but then there are no accidents. I cut my finger on the knife most times when in the kitchen, but that has more to do with moving too fast with a dull blade.

4. You suffer from illness or pain. That is kind of vague but I will take it to mean something serious, not an upset stomach...oh wait, the point is being able to maintain peace of mind when these things happen. Oh yes, when my stomach hurts or my back has a cramp, a lot of time I have to talk all about it. It is rare that I sit with the itch or the pain, my mind immediately wants to hop over to the sensation and start analyzing it. Now I am aware of the fact that I do this, so that's progress.

5. You do not succeed in your efforts. I definitely want to "do right" and be acknowledged for it, especially at work. I have been practising doing one anonymous good deed a day. An idea I took from the Wisdom Course. I have developed an anonymous relationship through this practice with the homeless guy near me that sits out in front of Blockbuster. I left him a pillow, and the next night he was sleeping on it. All his other pillows were tossed to the side. I cannot describe how proud and happy I felt. I would like to practice doing more deeds like this, anonymously or not, and not attaching to the good that I feel in doing those things. Doing them for the sake of doing them, not the spiritual or personal reward I think I'm due or relish in.

6. You do not get a thing that you want, or find that some thing you possess is missing. Possesssing things is becomg way less something I care about at all. It has been remarkably easy to get rid of so many things of mine. I think one of the most personally valuable things I own is my laptop. I would be pretty upset without it. My altar items are pretty favorable too. I am kind of attached to my hair as well, but since it is getting thinner, I guess I am receiving some training in that attachment. There aren't a lot of things I own that I couldn't do without tomorrow. Not getting a thing I want is more difficult. I do have this expectation that I will spiritually evolve and I don't know what thing I'll get, but I can tell I have an expectation that it will be realized and I will have something measurable. Sometimes I think I will be one of Amma's swamis, or be the head of a spiritual group of some sort, not a guru, but maybe the head in charge of one of her ashram's, but it has been really easy not to put a worldly goal out in front of myself like that. Whatever is to happen will happen.

7. You are kept waiting for a long time by some other person. I usually only care about this when I have been drinking coffee. Because when I have been drinking coffee I suddenly become very important, and my time is important. When I am not in AFB-mode I love when people are late, or even better, don't show because then I can take in the world around me; look at the cracks in the street, talk to the person beside me, smell the air, watch people and all their funny ways of moving through the world.

8. You are insulted or abused for no reason.

9. Others fail in their duties toward you. I have a lot of compassion for this. I believe everything that happens is supposed to happen so if someone "fails" in their duties towards me there must be a lesson to learn that wouldn't have been learned otherwise. Now if they failed me and I owed to someone else something that I was counting on from the person who failed me, that's another story. I think I usually hold a grudge or dislike that person that failed me because they caused me to look bad.

10. You suffer a loss or bereavement. I haven't experienced much in the way of death of people around me in my life. I've never suffered the loss of anyone super close to me. My relationship with death feels like my relationship with birth in a lot of ways.


If none of these can disturb your peace of mind and you are indifferent to them, you have won the struggle and achieved 50% self control. God sends trials and troubles to strengthen your character: Greet them and test yourself.

this barometer was written by Swami Sivananda, taken from www.sivanandadlshq.org/teachings/baro.htm