Humility

Humility.
It was a long time before I really knew what this word meant. I heard it, but didn't know it was the condition of the adjective humble. Humility, a noun. It has always sounded inferior or like a poorer quality of something. The dictionary says "marked by meekness: showing deferential or submissive respect." This is how I've realted to humility all my life. Recently, Barnaby said to me that he would like to see me develop more humilty. He elaborated to say he would like to see me say no to some things or develop an attitude that considered/reflected more - versus the YES attitude I have had so much of my life.

Listening to some satsangs, Swami Amritaswarupananda says that Amma is the biggest and the smallest "I". She has every reason to behave in a very "I" way. She could flaunt how powerful and supreme and divine she is if she wanted. "I am God, I have renounced self-desire, look at me!" but of course she doesn't, because she is the most humble, full of the most humility. The "smallest" as he says. Amma is the biggest and the smallest. This is great news. So I am practising humility. I am practising purification of my mind.

humility is rooted in Latin, from the word humilis: meaning low, lowly, the ground.
This reminds me of doing a good anonymous deed every day, from the Wisdom Course. I did it for a couple days. I find myself spending a lot of time thinking about what it should be and to whom it should be directed; i.e. who deserves it.

I am a funny animal. this "I". Swamiji called the "I" phallic. that's funny. It is difficult speaking and writing so as not to use the word "I" so much, it takes practice, so far the word "me" has been an easy substitute. the mind is a tricky slickster.