chillin with non-judgment

Meriem opened something up in me. Really, what i took away was how judgemental I am. how I separate myself from people, here at work, out in the world because they are "normal" and traditional and scared and closed and self-un-aware and I could go on.
I see a guy in a suit and I turn the other way. not really, I would probably smile and shine some love, but be open to his input in some way, his beliefs, ideas, point of view- not a chance. I have been righteous in my beliefs. Like I am really about truth and others just haven't found the way. I'm not such a jerk about it, but I dont give people a chance to contribute to me or listen to everybody with the same openness. Meriem suggested I do some "normal" things. try it out. i imagined myself in a book club. or playing softball. or going to the movies. things I would consider kind of dull and a waste of time, but that I actually could find enjoyment in. Going to a bar or something like that, what people do after work just has no appeal. It's all an interesting idea.
It really opened up how intense I like the ride, or at least, how intense the ride has been, putting myself in situations and getting involved in things that are eccentric, unique, different than the norm. It's true. and I still don't think it's a wrong way to live life, but considering the amount of suffering, pain, discomfort, unhappiness I have experienced the last year it makes some sense. trying on the balance. I go to extremes most of the time. So I am settling into my desk chair, eating some chocolate, answering my boss' phone. simple, easy. little. yellow. different. I think my psyche wants a break. my heart wants a break. im going to chill out a bit. stop pushing myself.