CAFfeineeeee.....

Day One no caffeine.

Jeeez. The thing that is the most frustrating to me about not drinking coffee is that I get spacy/forgetful/absent-minded. The addiction component of caffeine, espresso in particular must be similar to coming off of heroin or nicotine. I made this choice yesterday after going over to Sadasiva's house and witnessing the difference in his energy stream and where I was flowing. He reminded me of how I felt before I started working at Wells again: calm, easy, free, no ruffles in the sheets, or ripples in the water. He was smiling simply and my body felt like it was being powered by a chainsaw motor. I think I was high until I went to bed at 9:45. When I'm on caffeine I non-stop talk as well. I am kind of a talker at any rate, but I get very full of myself on caffeine and couple that with being a talker and then I realize how I can carry on for over an hour with no break. so, it's day one.
I have taken this stuff called DMAE (2-dimethylaminoethanol) off and on for awhile now. It makes claims to mental acuity or something like that. I dont know where I read about it, but whenever i did I remember it saying that it increases mental function. Plus it's in the brain-booster section at Rainbow so that takes the guess work out. That stuff works in terms of sharpening my mind.
For me, one of the most painful ways to suffer is to be foggy-headed and inarticulate - not be able to make my point or to weakly make my point. I hate sounding stupid. And so far in my life I am my own worst enemy in judging the stupidity of my speaking. So the DMAE stuff helps with that.
And then I have vitamin water - essential, the orange one. I know it is fortified with sugar but I hope that it will also balance out the sharp drop in energy I feel in my body. My eyes feel heavy, I slept 7 or 8 hours last night. I woke up before my alarm went off, again, around 5:45/6:00AM. I love waking up early. I sang the Mahasundamarini Stotram to Amma,
everyone's asleep. the house is peaceful. the streets are dark and quiet. I feel like a mouse, or a wave of light bouncing in silence.
I'm really excited that my savings account has money in it, YAY!! I am really going to India. and I have money in the bank. Two things that I have talked a lot about, wanted a whole bunch, but never had much positive movement towards. Go me!! and without caffeine.
Aum amriteswarayai namah