Today has been a gift from God

Today has been a gift from God. My mood is internal and quiet. I had a harmonium lesson at Bev's - and I am super excited about my progress learning about music theory and what's possible. I have some bhajans to practice playing! A really beauitful Amma bhajan from the early days that she taught me, a good Siva one and another oh oh a Sai Baba bhajan. Bev gave me a copy of an Immortal Bliss from 1987. Amma is so full of love compassion and vivid beauty. Wow. I am going to frame my new gift. We talked about the Srimad Bhagavatam and she shared some stories about Amma. I shared with her the story that Sivaya retold last night about sitting at the burning ghats in Benares and the explosions of smoldering body parts, geyers of bile and other body liquids and how burning bodies take on characters of their own with fingers pointing to the sky, limbs detaching and flying off in other directions. I cant wait to sit at the ghats and smell the burning, see my everything dissolve into nothing as the layers shed and I become nothing! Isn't that exciting, becoming nothing..I am fascinated with death and cycles of existence. we are always dieing, in every moment some part of us dies and regenerates.

On my way home I got a message from Bhavani saying that I was accepted into the Teacher training program and she knows I am going to add a lot to the group. She and I had a realyl wonderful interview last week. I could tell she was going to become a mentor to me. Part of the training program involves teaching yoga in the community places where yoga wouldn't necessarily be available. she teaches to prison inmates once a week or so. That got me so excited. I never saw myself as the yoga bunny in tight pants creating a following for herself in some too hip urban city :), but I have imagined teaching kids, or doing yoga/activities with older people, patients in a hospital, mentally disturbed people, soemthing like that. I thought I'd end up working in a mental institution or prison but never really pursued that. Maybe my passion for truth, science, people and clarity will manifest in offering myself in this way.
It's all very fun for me to imagine and create ripples of future in my body.

Then the meditation I did on Friday night was noteworthy too. I felt like a conduit of energy, substanceless, and sensitive to all the vibrations around me-the big sounds like cars driving by, and the almost imperceptible sounds like the distant breathing of a fellow meditator or the molecular or cellular vibrational sounds. I wondered when air became breath/prana- is it the mechanics of taking in and letting go that make it breath. does the person's expelled carbon dioxide become my oxygen?
Where does my breath begin and end, with this form. The breath is like a door, opening and closing, softly, gently. The peace that filled me was pure bliss and complete absorption and surrender. I could've gotten knocked over the head with a piece of wood and I dont think I would have felt it.

Shiva Shiva Shiva Shambo Mahadeva Shambo. Om Namah Sivaya, at your feet, I am yours, you live me and I breathe you..