one-pointed focus

hmmm. consciousness and choosing people. I have significantly shifted my "worldview" on how I relate to people and where I invest my energy. It is weird. an old part of me would have done practically anything to assuage someone's "suffering" or make them feel better. Seemingly putting others first, but on a deeper level it was putting myself first, wanting to be liked, wanting to not be spoken badly of. And I would get a fair amount of acknowledgement from people about how giving I was to people and stuff like that--a real boost for the ol' ego. The shift is that as I spend less energy "wanting to be liked" and "doing the socially supported right thing" (instead of the greater than my mind right thing) and allow myself to be guided by the divine, people are falling away and my path is narrowing. What I need to do is revealing itself without a lot of complication, drama or confusion. The more I surrender my mind, which really means my opinions, judgments and those things, the more life can happen around me without my thinking I am controlling something or am orchestrating ANY thing.
Believing that it is either God's will or God's grace that is handling the details.

And though I feel inspired it feels different than it ever has--it's not an "UP" mood. there is more peace in my space, a gentle unencumbered silence. It makes relating to people in a rajasic/worldly way much more difficult, but I condemn myself less for being where I am, and not altering my state to try to meet someone. I have been a "chameleon" and able to shapeshift to fit the situation much of my adult life, and that coat is slowly dissolving. It feels good to be developing a sense of self that is deeper than my limited ego, intellect and body/mind. My mind wants to grasp for something to hold on to, but my consciousness is growing and expanding and I can no longer pretend that momentary satisfaction of my senses is leading me closer to truth.

I am continually humbled and inspired by what is really possible at the greatest depths of surrender and one-pointed focus.