prana

I haven't had much time to write recently as most of my time has been taken up by studying for a quiz and then preparing for the upcoming practice sessions. We just reached the half-way mark and have 6 more weeks to go. The last week of the program will be the first week that Amma is here. I want to spend as much time as possible with her while she is here. It may be that some people from my class will meet her for the first time as well.

In Book Two, sutra 38 Sri Patanjali says

By one established in continence, vigor is gained.

As we've discussed this, some people have become disturbed by what they interpret Patanjali to be asking by making this statement. If we take away our shock and disbilief , thinking it impossible to NOT be controlled by our lower primal sexual natures and realize the volume of vital life force that is essentially wasted in our daily activities, we can gain some awareness into the reality of how powerful we are, and how much more effective and vital we could be if we held on to our power instead of diffusing it in ways that ultimately don't make us happy anyway.

Sex and food are huge consumers of energy. This is apparent. On a micro level, even walking down the street, when my eyes are diverted by something that catches my mind's attention I lose prana. I eat too much at lunch and lose prana. listening to music that does not uplift is a waste. engaging in conversations or superficial talk wastes this energy too. i am more aware of this as the prana actually increases in my system from doing pranayama (controlling the breath - in an effort to control the mind) and practice the techniques of yoga. I am noticing more the cost that is paid by being involved in activities that do not take me closer to truth (as Sadasiva often succintly and clearly puts it). it is like putting all the garbage in the trash bag only to dump it out on to the floor to clean up again. I have done the work of putting it in the trash can, why not take the trash out then rather than create more work for myself?

so with everything, becoming aware of the price we are willing to pay is an important question. including as it relates to sex, and all forms of consumption. reading billboards, reading the newspaper headlines walking by the newstand. i use to make a real effort to look at people and shine light to them as i walked down the street. it made me feel good and appeared to make them feel good too - but its not about feeling good! :) i stopped doing that. i see that that is a pretty weak distribution of my energy - i would sometimes get to work and feel drained, and it would only be 8 in the morning!

So, by continence, by control of our output of energy, by controlling what and how much we consume, we conserve our energy. Also, by being "stingy" with our energy, not wasting it here and there for idle use, this is how we increase our shakti- our power!

this is a really difficult practice for me. but i am more aware of it. bringing humility and compassion to a very difficult practice. treating myself as I would my best friend, as one of my teacher's recently offered to me. it is important we are aware of the energy expense we pay every day. and then looking at what we are gaining from it. the sex act, the cookies, the ice cream. do they uplift us and give us more peace or do they take us further down the path of unhappiness and delusion. even the so-called "enlightened sex" act. pay attention closely. if the experience does not bring us more sustained bliss, not momentary bliss, but everlasting happiness, was it really enlightened and did it take us closer to truth- the truth that is our heart's pure shine? we dirty our brilliance with all the garbage we take in, and all the garbage we give out.
these are the questions and ideas i am looking at right now.