classical yoga

Last night I was at an Anusara class and the instructor illuminated something for me, helped me get clear on a distinction--she was talking about how classical yoga and Anusara are different in that classical yoga instructs you to do away with desires, that they are a further entanglement of maya--and in Anusara, the attention is on witnessing your longings and desires and creating them, manifesting from there.
What she was saying was not inherently bad in any way, but there is a fundamental difference as she touched on between classical yoga and I would say all the other types of modern yoga. I feel more moved by the path of austerities and tapas and renunciation. Renunciation of desires and rajasic stimulation and input. I want my manifestations and creations to spring from my heart and my voice guided by God, guided by Love, not to confuse where life's greatest mysteries and miracles come from. I am not the doer. If I am te doer than my creations will be limited to what I know, what I have learned, what I believe to be possible, instead of what is actually possible which I only have the vaguest notion of. God is infinite. Consciousness is infinite. My thoughts and ideas and concepts are limited and separative.

It was refreshing to hear her say that, because even though I regularly go to yoga classes that are more of the thought and practice that she is talking about--creating, manifesting, discovering our desires--who I am, the path I am on is the classical system. I have never heard anyone "on the other side" admit/say this. People in the classical system are very aware of this difference, it is pervasive in the west. And it is a good thing. I started doing Bikram yoga two years ago when everything began to open up for me around spirituality. Had I not had that experience of feeling my chakras exploded open the night of the first full class I did (I didnt make it through the first class-- i left feeling sick and nauseous and shocked buy the intensity) maybe, probably I would not have explored that place, what was THAT? What happened in my body. That is why yoga is a science. It is a system of practica steps that work. Regardless of what we think, whether or not we like it or have ANY opinion of it. That is the true motivation/teaching of classical yoga. So, I exhale with this new awareness.

I don't wish to create separation from us-the classicalists and them--the I don't know, the desire manifesters, or said with less sarcasm, the contemporaries, but I do wish to align myself further with the path that speaks to my values and convictions. Not desires, because it is not me desiring. There is less me, and more God, more consciousness.

This contemporary view on manifesting our desires, maybe it's not contemporary I dont know I am just figuring stuff out and looking and the innerworkings of this all in some way I can, is what I believe a lot of people dear to me (friends from the last few years that for the most part I have not spent any time with) are doing with their wisdom and energy. Weaving in components of spirituality with a more modern-day view of intellectualism. Intellectualism being developing ourselves in ways that put us in control of our lives, accessing our potential from a place of creator. There is a lot of wisdom here, especially as we are also these bodies walking around with these mouths that say things, sometimes things that make people mad or hurt and we have to address those things, those ways that we are not responsible with these bodies that have these mouths that get us in trouble. I am grateful for the growth and development I have had in this area, taking responsibility, knowing how to clean up the verbal messes I make--they are useful and necessary in a place where we are very much about using our intellect and see ourselves as separate masses. separate messes? :)

anyway, end o' rant.
I am grateful to have some of this take shape a little better inside myself. I am grateful for the beautiful love affair I a m having with Siva. I am grateful that even when I doubt Amma and think she doesnt have room for me or that she is not my real Guru she is always there and she always shows me my way back. I am grateful for SadaSiva and his bold truthful heart. I am grateful that we are committed to staying powerful, loving and open with one another. I am grateful for all of the energy of the planets, their grace, beauty and teachings in all forms.

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Hari Om Tat Sat