perspective

when things feel bad i have been stepping back to gain some perspective on the situation. sometimes it is hard because i want to believe so much that anything and everything i do means something and has weight in the larger context of my life, but you know it just doesn't. i read recently that astrology and the influence of the planets holds 75% of our probable future and our actions are responsible for 25%. of course it can be troublesome to concretize the greater forces in the world in this way, but suffice to say, my actions and thoughts are a smaller component of the divine plan than are the cosmic grander cycling of nature. so i keep letting go, it feels like the only non-pain-creating way to handle the difficulties of life. not striving for something, or wishing life was different or creating secret scenarios or strategies to have things be any other way than how they are. sigh. there's some freedom in this, but still i feel sad that my dreams don't play out the way i fantisize they will. it is hard to let go of this.... Perspective, specifically, that everything i want and hope and dream is insignificant in the bigger picture. nature works in accord with her own harmony and vibration. like i know what is best for me. i don't. i completely trust that life will offer me what is necessary to realize closer to truth. i am not always willing and put up mental and emotional resistance, but generally speaking the old paint is peeling and the layers are wearing away somehow, through the work of the divine.