think good thoughts

Swami Sivananda Says:
The mind is purified by constant kirtan (chanting). It is filled
with good and pure thoughts. Daily kirtan strengthens good samskaras
(habits). The mind of a man who trains himself in thinking good,
holy thoughts, develops a tendency to think good thoughts. His
character is moulded and transformed by continuous good thoughts.

He who entertains thoughts of divinity becomes transformed actually
into divinity himself. His bhava (disposition) is purified and
divinised. The meditator and the meditated, the worshipper and the
worshipped, the thinker and the thought, become one and the same.
This is samadhi This is the fruit of kirtan or upasana (adoration).
****

I am doing my best to remember that every action, every thought, every breath can be an offering to the Lord, in service of our highest selves. We do not need to be in a particular environment with everything arranged just so-- every moment and situation is the perfect one for devotion. And the last couple days I have been practising being the witness to my thoughts, desires, preferences, sensual cravings..asking myself who is hungry, who is sad, who wants something..it is the mind that wants things fulfilled. I am remembering that at any moment, enlightenment, Self-realization can happen. i can get hit by a bus, stub my toe or choke on my sandwich, or maybe in a more humane way - can full Consciousness be realized. that makes me excited. I don't have to be careful when crossing the street, or rather I dont have to be worried crossing the street, still being mindful, but the worry and stress can go away, because what if in the moment of answering the phone at work it is God calling, and I realize that? Wow.
But I still feel I have to purify my heart and thinking and actions in the world, maybe it's the long and dutiful way to uncovering the divine within..all these ways to practice, there really is a way for all of us.

peace

This weekend I went on retreat with my group in the teachers training at IYI. We were at a place called Commonweal in Bolinas. Though I didnt get out of the house we stayed in much, the grounds were sacred and pure. Overlooking the water, this cliff merged with the ocean's tide below. Singing to Shiva overlooking the vast expanse of water and Mother my heart fell open so wide.
We had an intention ceremony Friday night where we all burned something we were giving up and then we chose a rock symbolizing what we were inviting into our lives.

I burned "needing external approval" and I chose this gorgeous malachite rock (without looking, of course) symbolizing receiving peace into my life. It was so perfect and simple that peace rose up in me when we meditated on this question of what we wanted to invite in. My first thought was "peace?" that's easy, everyone wants peace and there must be a better more specific thing I can come up with. But i kept peace.

it has been a real theme for me lately. mostly recognizing the things that disturb that peace. there was this moment when all the others were in the dining room sittign together laughing away at various things. i was sitting in the living room by myself. i felt peaceful. my mind thought "you should be in there with all the people, together with your firends." and then i checked in and saw that i was perfectly peaceful where i was, no need to move. so the thoughts about I should move, or should be doing something other than what I was just left. Earlier that day there was a lot of laughing and talking in the circle where we were discussing kriyas. The night before we had gone to bed and eaten dinner in silence. I was still feeling that deep peace within and didn't want to justlaugh because others were. it was pretty clear that I was the only one feeling quiet and introspective, a few people commented to me later that they noticed this.
coming back from the weekend, last night and this morning I felt grounded, content and peaceful within and without. i did not have caffeine for the fourth day in a row.

so i am seeing how to create more peace. I am seeing how to sustain the peace that I work towards. if peace is the ultimate goal, peace within, then when my mind wants to wage a war with others or with myself it is best that I don't let my mind take over and run the show.

Last night I caved in and did one of the things that I knew would take me away from feeling so grounded and peaceful. I made a vow to myself and I broke it. and it was really simple, the peace was disrupted. again, this morning, i did something that gave my mind control over being rested in peace.

it is not easy. but i see how Sri Ptanjali says "the seer abides in a place of peace" when the "restraint of the mental modifications" are practiced. so i know the things that cause my unrest, the vrrtis, the mental modifications. caffeine was one, and i am practising going without. Oh, and I have so many other things that I am evaluating, lookiing at in my life. do they add to my peace, or do they detract.

because from that peace, everything else follows. it ends the cycle of feeling like I need to create something other than what is happening in any moment. ends the suffering of feeling like i could have done or said something else. with peace, comes everything else, but I am not sure everything else matters, once established in a place of peace.

Sri Yukteswar

Today is Sri Yuketeswar's birthday.

He was the Spiritual Master of Paramhansa Yogananda. The last few days I have not be feeling very peaceful or grounded, but kind of fearful and sensitive. The spark of energy, of life, of love that has been filling my heart and leading the way has waned. The moon was new on Sunday, today is Tuesday so probably as the moon keeps getting fuller I too will feel my heart and body expanding. In the mornings I usually put on my iPod walking to work, listening to devotional music or sometimes to astrology/yoga lessons, but this morning none of that felt right. So I flipped it to Autobiography of a Yogi. I was wondering where the strong pull to listen to that again came from. He was talking about how the east can learn from the west and all of our advances in materiality and stuff like that and the west can learn from the east's practice and techniques of yoga and yogic systems.

Then when i was posting to Craigslit, the part where they have you verify a word before posting - my word was "yogic." I love these little things. they really feel like gifts from Amma, the lila, play of life.

this is from: http://www.yogananda-srf.org/special_ancmnts/150annv_sy/150anv_e.html

A saint of truly universal outlook, Sri Yukteswar recognized that a synthesis of the spiritual heritage of the East with the science and technology of the West would do much to alleviate the material, psychological, and spiritual suffering of the modern world. His deep conviction that tremendous advances could be made, both individually and internationally, by exchange of the finest positive features of each culture was crystallized by his remarkable meeting with Mahavatar Babaji, the guru of Lahiri Mahasaya. His spiritual classic, The Holy Science , demonstrates and explains the universal evolution of consciousness, energy, and matter — the entire spectrum of experience we call life.

Love leads to God

SIVANANDA DAILY READING

FOR 5 MAY

LOVE LEADS TO GOD

Truth, mercy, humility, self control, purity, devotion, courage,
dispassion, discrimination, serenity, equilibrium are the doors to
liberation.

Contentment is the greatest virtue it makes a man
richer than an emperor. It brings every blessing and everlasting
peace. Bearing insult and injury is saintliness.

Justice, mercy, compassion, honesty, selfless service, sacrifice, self restraint,
are the ingredients or limbs of "Be good, do good", yoga.

Self control, charity, courage, compassion, humility, non violence,
truthfulness, purity and serenity are the cardinal virtues.

Self control means the control of the lower self by the higher self for
the realisation of the self.

The five virtues that lead to supreme
blessedness are: truth, integrity, kindness, generosity and
gentleness.

Humility is the arch enemy of egoism. Therefore
cultivate humility and egoism will perish. True humility is a mighty
spiritual force. It is born of supreme realisation.

Courage, humility, purity, love and truthfulness are the real
virtues of a man. Vrata is the practice of self denial it is a
vow.

There is a spirit of renunciation in every individual. It
develops will power.

Obedience is better than reverence. Obedience
is better than sacrifice. Obedience is the secret of discipline.

Kindness and love are the foods which sustain the soul within each
one.

Is there one single virtue that will contribute to make the world a
better place or a happier place? Is not unselfishness that virtue?
Disinterested kindness is the highest virtue.

The nearest approach to truth or God is through love.

Faith, devotion and love are immortal sisters. Love of God arises in the
heart that is desireless. Love divine is the only solvent the one
great healer and forgiver. Love opens the doors of intuition. Love
is the marriage of the individual soul and the supreme soul.

The first condition of union with God is a state of love.

prana

I haven't had much time to write recently as most of my time has been taken up by studying for a quiz and then preparing for the upcoming practice sessions. We just reached the half-way mark and have 6 more weeks to go. The last week of the program will be the first week that Amma is here. I want to spend as much time as possible with her while she is here. It may be that some people from my class will meet her for the first time as well.

In Book Two, sutra 38 Sri Patanjali says

By one established in continence, vigor is gained.

As we've discussed this, some people have become disturbed by what they interpret Patanjali to be asking by making this statement. If we take away our shock and disbilief , thinking it impossible to NOT be controlled by our lower primal sexual natures and realize the volume of vital life force that is essentially wasted in our daily activities, we can gain some awareness into the reality of how powerful we are, and how much more effective and vital we could be if we held on to our power instead of diffusing it in ways that ultimately don't make us happy anyway.

Sex and food are huge consumers of energy. This is apparent. On a micro level, even walking down the street, when my eyes are diverted by something that catches my mind's attention I lose prana. I eat too much at lunch and lose prana. listening to music that does not uplift is a waste. engaging in conversations or superficial talk wastes this energy too. i am more aware of this as the prana actually increases in my system from doing pranayama (controlling the breath - in an effort to control the mind) and practice the techniques of yoga. I am noticing more the cost that is paid by being involved in activities that do not take me closer to truth (as Sadasiva often succintly and clearly puts it). it is like putting all the garbage in the trash bag only to dump it out on to the floor to clean up again. I have done the work of putting it in the trash can, why not take the trash out then rather than create more work for myself?

so with everything, becoming aware of the price we are willing to pay is an important question. including as it relates to sex, and all forms of consumption. reading billboards, reading the newspaper headlines walking by the newstand. i use to make a real effort to look at people and shine light to them as i walked down the street. it made me feel good and appeared to make them feel good too - but its not about feeling good! :) i stopped doing that. i see that that is a pretty weak distribution of my energy - i would sometimes get to work and feel drained, and it would only be 8 in the morning!

So, by continence, by control of our output of energy, by controlling what and how much we consume, we conserve our energy. Also, by being "stingy" with our energy, not wasting it here and there for idle use, this is how we increase our shakti- our power!

this is a really difficult practice for me. but i am more aware of it. bringing humility and compassion to a very difficult practice. treating myself as I would my best friend, as one of my teacher's recently offered to me. it is important we are aware of the energy expense we pay every day. and then looking at what we are gaining from it. the sex act, the cookies, the ice cream. do they uplift us and give us more peace or do they take us further down the path of unhappiness and delusion. even the so-called "enlightened sex" act. pay attention closely. if the experience does not bring us more sustained bliss, not momentary bliss, but everlasting happiness, was it really enlightened and did it take us closer to truth- the truth that is our heart's pure shine? we dirty our brilliance with all the garbage we take in, and all the garbage we give out.
these are the questions and ideas i am looking at right now.